Hey it's definitely been a LONG time since I've been on this website.. weird..

I deleted a lot of entries because I realized how much of a loser I was. Lots of things are different now. I'm a Bio major at JCU, why I'm a Bio major - I sometimes question :( I want to go into Forensics. I should have been a chem major but it's too late now. I'm a junior. I have a great boyfriend whom I love very much! He works super hard since he's also a bio major and we don't get to hang out too much anymore, but we have some good times!

I taught him how to snowboard and he got me really into sushi. ^^ I'm not in my sorority anymore because I realized how much I can't stand other women and their stupid drama. I'm a private person and I don't like it when people talk about me behind my back. Plus they were trying to force me to pay a fine for not going to a mandatory event one day when I had double service hours. I didn't give them that 75 dollars. I paid my dues and left. I don't regret a thing except sometimes i miss having a reason to be social. lol It's weird because my bf is in a fraternity, so I talk to more guys than girls - never saw that one coming! haha

I was told thursday in my chem lab that my titration data was totally exact with the data my TA had. It was a good confidence booster! ^^

I also had one previous boyfriend before the love of my life (my current boyfriend), and he was a real d-bag - however the sad thing is, is that my ex and my bf are in the same fraternity. - another reason to drop my sorority. ^^;; my bf really helped me get out of that horrible relationship, and he's the first person i really and truly opened up to. I've helped him get over an ex and we are both better people because we have each other. he is definitely my bf and my best friend, and i'd have it no other way! we fight, but we both get really tired and stressed because of college. in the end we still love each other and we get over stuff fairly quickly.

Hm I also have done service with my scholarship here and it has made me a better person. I work at the DVC and I couldn't be happier with my service site and volunteering. I love going every week to see the kids! They are adorable and say funny things! ^^ And we color or play board games - it's a great break from college and stress! ^^

I should be studying.. sigh.. Got a little side tracked. I haven't been feeling too good today and so it's hard to focus.

Ja ne

Hey! ^^

I want to thank Chelsey for the comment uhm in one of my more reasent thingys. ^_^ So thanx! Yay my first comment! ^_^  And I've missed you as well! Wow it's been awhile!

I haven't gone driving in a while. I hope that I'll be able to go cuz I need so many hours you know all that good stuff. I don't even have one hour. Pretty sad, ne? I think so.

Chikuso I think I got another cold from someone! I've been having terrible times with colds and last wut was it October? I had a sinus infection. So I got over that after months MONTHS! And then a few months after that I get a cold so I caugh like crazy and now here I go again!!! My colds have been bad too ever since that sinus infection.

Sometimes I''m afraid that I won't be able to breathe again. All that crap gets stuck in my airway passage and i have trouble breathing properly, sometimes its realy bad where I'm like hyperventilating. *rolls eyes* just exactly what i needed! -_-

I really REALLY hope to pull off a 3.0 this last quarter. Stupid Bio pop quizzes are bringing my grade point avg down by quite a bit. I think I am bringing up my Theology and wut was it English? I think it was english. I just took a quiz on that yesterday. I don't see how Chelsey pulls off such awesome grades. Man, I wish I could be complaining about ONE C or a B. Heh, I don't like C's as much as the next student but B's I like since they are a good range. Second, but still not as bad as a C or a D. I've only gotten liike one D in my life but gee I'd rather be a straight A student, like my older cousin. v.v Mayb I'm just damned to be stupid. *Shrugs* oh well.

*sigh* I invited some peepz from HN (friends of course since noone else would even want to come to my house anyway. I'm surprised that they wanted to come.) over on the 13th. But things haven't changed despite my efforts v.v , it will never change. I ask myself 'why?' and only one answer repeats in my head, haunting me.

I am a part of the forgotten; just a shadow, nothing more.

For that's how it's always been and how it always will be.

But I'm still gonna try to make a possitive significance in someone's life, even if it causes my death. For the many who have touched my life, I'd like to mean something to someone else as well. Make a difference... a good one.

If anyone actually reads this: I am sorry if I was ever a burden to anyone, I never meant to be. I never wanted to be disliked by anyone.

Well, I'm back. *shrugs* Nobody misses me.

Today was a long day. I went to school and was almost late if my dad wasn't speeding! v.v;; *sigh* Then well I went home unhappily. Once again I'm not invited but gee talk about it in front of me.

The spanish test was pretty easy for once (knocks on wood) there wasn't any translation sentences which is good cuz i wasn't good with sents with spanish.

My engish teach was funny today, he drew Polynecies (a stick figure by the way) from Antigone and hes like "Yep, there he is, rotting out in the wilderness." I was like O.o mah history teach!!!

So I went shopping with my mom and my aunt. And we WeRe going to eat at P. F. Chang's but there was a really long wait so we went to Sakura instead. Which was good ^__^ !!!!

I wanted to go to that thing with the bands at Padua but I hadn't anyone to go with and I didn't call anyone since my mom wanted to go shopping.

Well I'm gonna go, I'm beat. I think it's the Japanese food. ^^ I love Japanese food!! v.v I'm SOOOOOOO TIRED!!! X.x

Oh and I still miss HIM... *sigh* I can't help it I don't know i ppl o yah

My friend wants to watch Napolean Dynamite even tho she saw it like twice with her bf or something. And she's all saying that it could be the four of us. Her, her bf, me and kevin. *makes a face* bleh kevin... I really don't want anything to do with kevin. But I don't know how to tell her that... *sigh* I really hope she forgets kevin. lolz And well forgets me 2 then since I don't want it just to be us three. That's too awkward for me. I don't like that shit. I mean I just don't like it when its like her and her bf and then theres me. Just there. But I thought brian was funny. If it had to be 4 ppl I'd rather it be him cuz I kno him, I don't kno kevin. I mean sure I didn't know brian either at first but i just have a feelin im not gonna like kevin at all.

*sigh* I'm so pathetic. Can't even get one lousy date. I don't like blind dates, those sound... well not good.

I mean I'm sure im like the only person out of all my friends who hasn't even been on a real date. I didn't think I was THAT such of a loserish person. Geeze...

Life sux. Finals are coming up and I'm gonna die. x.X mayb thats a good thing...

//you uSeD to captivate me by ur resonating light/now i'm bound by the life you LeFt BeHiNd/your face it HaUnTs/my once pleastant dreams/your voice has chased away aLL tHe SaNiTy iN mE/these wounds WoN'T seem to hEaL, this PaIn is just ToO rEaL/theres just ToO much that TiMe CaNnOt ErAsE//But you have aLL of me/I've tried so HaRd To TeLL MySeLf ThaT yOuR GoNe, BuT ThO uR sTiLL wiTh mE I'vE BeEn aLoNe aLL aLoNg...//

WhY dOeS sO mUcH sEeM sO HoPeLeSs...